My breathing

I feel the sufffering in my body.

If I let the fear conquer me I can’t do anything.
And I am lost.
I fall.
I feel like a slave.
And the defeat is in my soul.

But if I look to my fear squarely, if I keep all my minds on what I do.
I can push my body to the limit.
I can be high.
I can conquer.
I can defeat the darkness.

Always more high, again and again.
Only focused on the need to move forward, to go up, in spite of the pain.
To keep the rythme.
To be the best.
To feel my body do what I want.
To move on all the gestures with grace, elegance, power and creativity.
To be in control.

At the end my body exhausted, I know : nothing is impossible.
Forgotten the fall.
Forgotten the hurt.
Forgotten the defeat.
Only the pleasure to give all of me, to gain my freedom.

I feel strong
I feel free.
I am free.
I feel like I can conquer the world.
It’s a drug.
I can’t stop that.
It’s my breathing ; only my breathing.

© Violet Suki, 2013

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