You’re my drug,
A painful desire.
An irresistible need eats me,
to touch you, to kiss you,
to feel your hand
The urge to feel
your skin on my skin
then, your lips on my lips.
Playing the indifference
as I wait for the invasion.
Fighting for control
while impatient to surrender.
I lick you and bite you so strongly
to mark you as mine
drived by a cruel instinct,
wanting to taste blood, yours,
as you take me,
as you move inside me.
Your darker skin brushing past my pale one.
Smelling the spicy perfum of love,
as I look at your eyes when the pleasure takes you.
Crying when finally I lost control, taken away by the passion.
Later, letting myself so languid in your arms
defenseless when the storm of love subside
as we try to make our breath calm down
your eyes in mine as you stay still in me
making this instant last,
before the inexorable separation.
Then, hidden in the hollow of your shoulder
closing my eyes, I bury my tears in silence
and I smile to not cry,
feeling already the lack.
If I let the fear conquer me I can’t do anything.
And I am lost.
I feel like a slave.
And the defeat is in my soul.
But if I look to my fear squarely, if I keep all my minds on what I do.
I can push my body to the limit.
I can be high.
I can conquer.
I can defeat the darkness.
Always more high, again and again.
Only focused on the need to move forward, to go up, in spite of the pain.
To keep the rythme.
To be the best.
To feel my body do what I want.
To move on all the gestures with grace, elegance, power and creativity.
To be in control.
At the end my body exhausted, I know : nothing is impossible.
Forgotten the fall.
Forgotten the hurt.
Forgotten the defeat.
Only the pleasure to give all of me, to gain my freedom.
I feel strong
I feel free.
I am free.
I feel like I can conquer the world.
It’s a drug.
I can’t stop that.
It’s my breathing ; only my breathing.